Grrrrrrrrrr

Seriously, the more "enlightened" I become by the existence of revoltingly-preppy (read: boring, conservative, and risk-averse) Plain-Janes who claim they are these earth-shattering fashionistas, the more I want to continue harshly scrutinizing their so-limited creativity, shred anything I own that remotely reminds me of going to school in the South, and then invite their pastel-piqué-cotton-sporting selves to do the entire fashionsphere a favor by kindly jumping off a cliff (and taking their painfully-awful Vineyard Vines totes with them, while they're at it). Aggressive, violent, geedy? Yes. But to call these sentiments unwavering would be an egregious understatement, especially as a seasoned fourth-year undergraduate whose summer was spent socialite-ing around the world's greatest city and being exposed day-in and day-out to what fashion truly means. Attention all die-hard Jack Rogers and Vera Bradley fans aka logo-obsessed fools: I dare you to spend an afternoon in Chelsea. Yup. Enjoy being ripped to shreds by people with aesthetic standards that aren't shallow as a shower.

Here's an inspirational outfit that if attempted in Winston-Salem would undeniably warrant snide comments from just-left-the-kitchen slampieces and confused stares from frat daddies (all hail the mighty and magnificent Man Repeller).

Lace Tee

Kimchi Blue, $32

Venice Denim Shorts

Friend of Mine, $165

Leather Double Keeper Tipped Waist or Hip Belt

ASOS, $34

RSASKTH1 Polyester Solid Thigh-High Sock

American Apparel, $16

Bowmer Suede Wedge Heel

Aldo, $100

The Bike Bag

Madewell, $98

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I really fucking want the Lita's. Now.

Lita, Pewter Glitter

Jeffrey Campbell, $160

LOLZ how would people react if they saw me doing finance problems while I was sporting these, along with my brand-new white Studio Beats? Social experiment time.

Here's to you, fashion. Cheers.